Sensational Sixtieth

Birthdays traditionally are regarded as pretty happy days. In fact, all the ones I’ve experienced in the past have been categorized in this way. However, this year’s anniversary of my birth would have to be considered a bit traumatic and depressing- that is until it was transformed into something sensational.

I guess the problem was in my perception of being sixty years old. For all my life, sixty was old. My dad died when he was 65. Many more people in the Obituaries are in their sixties than are in their nineties. In fact, a friend of ours recently died suddenly, just short of his 60th birthday. Never mind that some of my best friends are in their 60’s and they are still very young in my eyes, as well as my husband, who will turn 65 this year. I have heard it said that the sixties are the new forties, but it was just too “up close and personal” for me to be excited about this birthday.

Besides that, the day itself was a bit of a downer. It snowed like crazy and I had to figure out how to get up the hill to drive in to work early in the morning, before the sun came up and before the snowplow came. I hadn’t told anyone at work that it was my birthday, so there were no birthday wishes (serves me right!) and our planned attendance at Ward Temple Night didn’t happen because there was no parking for us at the Temple with the snow situation. We came home and watched a Jazz basketball game instead, which I ended up watching by myself because David went to sleep on the couch.

Fast forward nine days later…. I gave myself an awesome birthday gift- a trip to Seattle! (Thank you Southwest for having a half-price sale!) David and I flew out on Thursday night after work and spent a fun weekend visiting family and seeing the sights. We spent the first two nights with my sister Jennifer and her husband Denis. What fun to hang out with them! They considered it my birthday weekend and showered me with special treats, breakfast, and fun times. We even caught the UW basketball bug and joined in cheering the team on in two different PAC 10 nail-biters!

On Friday, David and I took the bus downtown, had lunch, did a little impromptu shopping, and soaked up the ambience of the Pike Place Market on a glorious spring-like day.

Notice the sign- Local Color. . . . The guy was singing as he was balancing his guitar and hula-hooping.

This was the view from the park at the end of the Pike St. Market. Mt. Rainier is in the distance.

That night featured the centerpiece of the weekend and the big reason for the trip- seeing Jennifer’s show at the Seattle Children’s Theater. She is a set designer and had been working for a year on a world premiere, especially commissioned for SCT. It was a coming of age story of a spoiled young Pharaoh in ancient Egypt. We had seen the model of the set and heard the story when we were in Seattle in October, so we were very excited to see the end result.

We got all dressed up for the show (pretty much overkill) and found ourselves amidst a predominantly pre-teen audience and their enthusiastic parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, scout leaders, and other assorted significant others. I think we were the only “un-attached” adults in the audience. But the experience was spectacular, with the set being the star of the show, as evidenced by the questions asked by the kids after the show- “How did you make the mummy disappear?” "How did you move the walls?”

The next day, we visited my mom’s grave with Denis and Jennifer and left some cute baby daffodils bought at the Market the day before.Then we headed out to take the Ferry out to Bainbridge Island and right back. (Jessie the dog can’t be left for too long.) Ferry rides are one of David's great pleasures when in Seattle.That night, we met our daughter Julie’s family at a Chinese restaurant for a birthday dinner. The food was delicious, the candles and birthday fortune cookies (a chocolate dipped one for me!) were fun, and the rousing “Happy Birthday” song by the waiters and waitresses reminded me a bit of the “Fa, Ra, Ra, Ra, Ra!” song at the end of A Christmas Story. After dinner, we said “Goodbye,” to J & D and went home with Julie and her family to spend the next two nights. Julie had asked David to help her with Sharing Time in Primary the next day, so I stayed for one presentation- he shared an experience he had with the importance of obeying his parents- and then I went home to be with Meg who was recuperating from a bad bout with a stomach bug. After Church, the plan was to do a Sunday afternoon hike, but we settled for a wild, windy look at Snoqualmie Falls instead of taking a chance on getting blown off Rattlesnake Ridge

Dinner was a spectacular birthday celebration! Lance grilled his famous marinated salmon. . . . . . and Julie outdid herself with a wonderful salad, rolls, asparagus, roasted potatoes, and a double chocolate cake for her chocoholic mom. Caleb and Ashley added to the chocolate high by whipping up some fudge, as well.
There were candles to blow out and gifts to open. . .

. . . with the biggest and best surprise being a booklet, “Sixty Years of Memories”- 60 great memories shared by our kids, their spouses, and grandkids. What a treasure! I won’t lie, it did make me cry- and laugh. It almost made me wish I was older, so there would be more memories to enjoy- the important word here is “almost!”

We ended the evening playing games and loving an impromptu violin recital starring Meg.
Bright and early the next morning, Grandpa and Kate enjoyed a brisk jog to school before we headed out to the airport.

We had an awesome weekend of celebrating! Thanks to everyone who contributed to such an awesome birthday!! Amazing what joyful experiences will do for your perspective! Sixty doesn’t seem so old now that I am a few weeks into it and I love the comments that I’ve gotten from my “true” friends when they find out that I am sixty- “Wow! You’re a young sixty!”

There’s a lesson here- I was so focused on how depressing it was to be so old, I forgot to focus on the joys and the memories of sixty wonderful, memorable years and all the associated blessings. It was an important lesson on Gratitude and I am very grateful that reinforcing and strengthening our understanding of important principles is a continuing part of Heavenly Father’s Plan, no matter the stage of life in which we find ourselves. I’m older and wiser now and I won’t soon forget!

Even After 36 ½ Years!

In case you’re wondering if Valentine’s Day can still be fun and surprising even after 36 ½ years of marriage, consider these Valentine surprises that showed up at our house yesterday:

When I opened my eyes after David let me sleep in, I saw the roses on the counter in the bathroom. (He knows on which side I sleep, so he strategically placed them there so they would be the first thing I would see.) It was a big surprise and I jumped up instead of just lying there until I could muster up the desire to get up. Guess I missed the pineapple that was on my dresser, but I found it later. (David had gone to Costco looking for blueberries since I love them so much, but not finding them, he bought me a pineapple since I love them, too. And, he even tied a bow on it!) Ahhh… how sweet!

My contribution was the book, The Wednesday Letters. I had heard it was a fun little love story, so I bought it for David (and me) so we could read it together. While it snowed outside, we snuggled together on the couch and read the first chapter. Pretty fun! We continued our total commitment to the holiday by relaxing in the hot tub as the snow continued to fall and we couldn’t go anywhere because the snowplow didn’t come.

But, the surprises continued… Later in the day, David brought home a loaf of Great Harvest Cinnamon Burst Bread for me, just because I love it. Ahhh… how sweet #2!

The day's finale was the best… a date for the ballet. We attended Ballet West’s “Madame Butterfly” and it was spectacular! The sets and costumes were incredible, Puccini’s music was so beautiful, and the dancing was absolutely inspired. We have seen many ballets over the years and we both thought that this was one of the most memorable and beautiful!
A pretty good Valentine’s Day for a couple who has seen a lot of Valentine’s Days! Maybe we didn’t do so well at answering questions at the “Not So Newlywed Game” the night before at the joint Elder’s / High Priests Party, but we do know how to do Valentine’s Day right… at least this year!

Lessons in Leadership

The last couple of days, I have had the opportunity to reflect on the power of leaders- for good and for bad.

We spent this last week testing in schools in a small but growing town near Salt Lake. First up was a new but already “bugling at the seams” elementary school. The principal of this school was a very interesting guy. Just being in his office was an experience. He is a collector of “stuff”- mostly old rusted stuff that once had served its purpose well. Many of these rusty old items, to the non-collector, would be overlooked, kicked aside, or even stomped upon. But there they were, prominently displayed on his office walls, museum-like, with appropriate framed notes and commentary. Within each frame was a beautiful, sparkling gem- a significant life lesson suggested by the old rusty item. What an inspiration just to sit in his office! In addition, he had a shelf with items not yet displayed, brought to him by students who had obviously been inspired, as well, to become collectors and, perhaps, deep thinkers, like unto their principal.

But, it only began in this most unusual office. This man was the undisputed leader of his school. He called each child by name as he went out into the halls and it was evident that the students loved him. He was extremely supportive of our efforts and did everything he could to facilitate a positive experience. In addition, he was a problem solver extraordinaire when a little rumple in the plan occurred. He was very appreciative and complimentary of our work and gave us a very positive review when a follow-up call was made by our supervisor.

Interestingly, two years ago, when we tested at a high school in the same district, the same man was principal at that school. When we first met with him, he assured us, “You’ll have no problems with these students. These are great kids!” His expectations for his students were realized when we tested them. He was right- they were great kids! From the two experiences with this principal, it was not too hard to learn how to do the math:
Great leader + Great Example + Great Expectations + Care, Concern, and Wisdom = Great Followers

Another experience this week with a great leader was at a junior high school. Two years ago, we tested at the school and it was not a good experience. The kids were rowdy, rather obnoxious and negative, and there was a potty-break pandemic that was out of control. There was no authoritarian figure from the school to support us in our efforts to make sure that each student had a good testing experience. We felt like we had been “thrown to the wolves.” Fast-forward to this week and a totally different experience: The principal was there to greet the kids as they came into the cafeteria. He gave them a pep talk before the test and encouraged them to do their best. He then stayed during the testing period and monitored how things were going. And, things went really well. The kids were great! No problems at all! At the end of the test, the principal complimented his students and our team, saying that in his 26 years as an administrator, he had never had such a good testing experience. He asked the students to give us a round of applause- that has never happened before.

We had been worried about this school, given our last experience and because our supervisor was making an official visit to evaluate our team. David and I prayed that morning that all would go well, that we would have no problems, and that we would make it there safely since there was a raging snowstorm outside and we had almost 45 miles to go to our destination. We left very early and arrived early, but our supervisor didn’t. It was not a good way to start her day. The minute she arrived, there was tension in the air. Everything we did, she wanted to know, “Why are you doing it that way?” She was nit-picking on every procedure, criticized each one of us, and freaked out over one procedural detail that wasn’t done exactly by the book. (Hello!... the situation wasn’t covered by the book!) She took a plethora of notes while she was observing, but, amazingly, she was not in the cafeteria to hear the principal’s positive comments at the end of the test or the applause. As we were winding things up for the day, she questioned David on everything and she kept asking, “Didn’t you get my e-mail about this?” Since she sends multiple e-mails each day, I wanted to ask, since David didn’t, “Which one, exactly?” But, I kept my mouth shut. Needless to say, our team was demoralized, angry, and ready to quit. After all, they don’t pay us enough for all the work we do. Can you tell how upset we were? David and I didn’t say a word to each other on our long trip home.

It was hard to pull ourselves out of bed to go back out to the town for testing the next day, but we did. When we drove up to the elementary school, this is what we saw on the marquee in front of the school:

The principal was at the front door welcoming us in and he thanked us for being there. He was thoroughly professional yet a very fun guy and he had everything organized, complete, and was ready to support us in every way. He gave a rousing pep talk to his 4th graders about the test and doing their best because they were representing their school and other 4th graders from Utah. As he led us to the 4th grade classrooms, he called kids by name, made cute comments to them and encouraged them for the day, and raved about his school to us. At the end of the day… the kids were great, the teachers were great, and the experience was great. In the hall by the 4th grade classrooms, we couldn’t help but notice this guy hanging out:

What a fun illustration of the correlation between excellent leadership
and the expectation of what will follow!

With such examples as the ones I’ve mentioned, not a lot of comment is necessary to delineate the qualities of a great leader who encourages and uplifts as opposed to one who discourages and demoralizes. The lessons can be applied to a myriad of life situations- obviously, in education, but also in business, in government, in the home, in the Church, in any relationship where leadership is required. The important question for each of us is, of course, in our individual situations, what type of leader will we choose to be?

(As a post-script, in his weekly call to our supervisor, David told her how discouraged and upset we were as a team after her visit. He explained to her that in his professional and life experience, a person with the title of supervisor works best by encouraging, helping, and motivating, rather than being completely critical. He said her comment was, “Oh,” followed by an apology. The next day, she sent an e-mail of apology that she wanted David to read to our team…. Go, David! He is an example of a courageous leader as well as being a great leader with the qualities about which he spoke.)

Do You Know the Way to Ibapah?

We didn't. In fact, we had never even heard of Ibapah, Utah. But we found out. We left the glitz of Wendover, Nevada and headed out on the West Desert towards Ely. We almost missed the turn that would take us back into Utah and thirty more miles to a mere bump in the road called Ibapah. Funniest thing- right at the turn there was an overturned garbage can and more were here and there along the thirty mile stretch, looking every bit like it had been garbage collection day, but there were no real roads and certainly no houses anywhere along the road, or, for that matter, on the horizon. There were cows, however. (Technically speaking, they were cattle.) We had been warned about the cattle- like, watch out for the cattle as you come around a curve or over a hill. And, there was the story about the school bus driver who hit a black cow, lying in the middle of the warm road, in the pre-dawn darkness of the desert. We also heard the one about the principal hitting, perhaps, the same cow, at the same time of day. We're not sure which story was true, but the cows were there, right along the road. We did stop to say "Hi!"- after all, we want our Utah cows to be as happy as those California cows on the cheese commercials.
Turns out, we were heading along some pretty historic territory. At one point, we got out and read about the Pony Express route that cut right through the Ibapah Valley.

And, we met a real live Pony Express rider- she has the pictures to prove it. She's an Ibapahite (one who lives in Ibapah?) who rides in the Pony Express re-enactment each year and teaches 4th, 5th, and 6th graders at the Ibapah School. . . which brings us to the reason why we were out in the middle of the West Desert looking for Ibapah.

David and I are involved again in a testing job for the Federal Government. It's called the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP). It happens once every two years and is sometimes referred to as "The Nation's Report Card." Twenty thousand schools and one million 4th, 8th, and 12th grade students participate in NAEP each testing year and we have 19 of those 20 thousand schools to test this year. David is the Assessment Coordinator and I am an Assessment Administrator (test giver), but I help David with Pre-Assessment visits to each of the schools where we will be testing.

Ibapah is one of our schools, thus the visit. There are only three 4th grade students that will be tested, but we had to go out and make all the arrangements for the test. The Pony Express rider was the School Coordinator, as well as the 4th grade teacher. It really was an interesting visit. This teacher grew up on a ranch in the Ibapah Valley and still ranches with her husband and family in this remote little corner of the world, which borders on the Goshute Indian Reservation. There are only 3 classrooms in the tiny Ibapah school which educates children of local ranchers as well as some Goshute children.

The teacher had been teaching at the school for 20 years and obviously loved her job, the students, the valley, and her life. It was so refreshing to talk to her. She told us of her experiences riding her favorite horse in the Pony Express re-enactments and showed us a book that she and her students had written and illustrated commemorating her rides. She was excited to share a copy with us and it is a treasure!

What could have been an annoying "And why are we doing this?" experience turned out to be great little adventure. Next time, not only will we know the way to Ibapah and to beware of cows that may be hanging out around the bend, we actually look forward to returning to test the three students who will represent "the best of Ibapah!"

(Now that we've whetted your appetite to know more about Ibapah, check out the link on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibapah,_Utah to plan your next trip!)

Christmas is Over, The Geese Got Really Fat

Well, only half of that is true. The geese didn’t get too fat- we only gained a pound or two. The calendar says December 26 and it’s back to reality. David has been up since before 6:00 a.m. working on coding booklets for NAEP (National Assessment of Educational Progress) testing and I helped a couple of hours. But the memories of Christmas Past (a la 2008) are about to be immortalized as only they can be as a blog post.

We returned to Utah from California and half of December was already over. Luckily, before we left for California, we hit the day after Thanksgiving sales and cashed in on “killer deals” on two little trees for the porch and a new artificial tree for our living room. (We “caved in” after years of dead fresh trees by Christmas and bought one for our living room.)

Snow came about the same time as our return and, of course, the birds had to be fed...

and we discovered that a couple of rabbits had taken up residence in our backyard.

By the time we got started on decorating for Christmas, all our neighbors had their houses lit and decorated for about 3-4 weeks. (Remember- “Thanksgiving came late this year.”) We really had to “play catch-up.” To make up for the lack of a fresh tree, we bought a fresh cedar garland. I “trimmed”...

and David cleaned up after me.

This year, we were in charge of the Tanner Family Christmas Party. We decided on our mission, after attending a wonderful Ward Christmas party with the centerpiece being assembling Hygiene Kits for LDS Humanitarian Services, that if we were in charge of a big Christmas party, we would like to do the same thing. So, that’s what we did. We planned, organized, invited, and did the bulk of the buying before we left for California and finished the preparations the week we came back. The party was wonderful! We had soup, salads, and rolls before we started work on the hygiene kits. It is so true- “many hands make light work” and we had lots of hands- little ones...

and bigger ones! It took very little time to assemble 72 kits. We enjoyed hot chocolate and cookies and then Grandma Tanner shared a story about giving at Christmas and “feeling good from the inside out” that entertained the kids of all ages.

Each child had been invited to bring new or gently used toys to donate to LDS Humanitarian Services to go orphanages around the world. Grandpa and Grandma filled in for Santa and Mrs. Santa and kids filled the giant red bag to overflowing.

We were very excited about how the party turned out. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, there was lots of interaction between individual families, we had lots of good food and fun, and we all felt good about the service we were able to give.

Which brings us to the week of Christmas… We finally got the tree decorated a couple of days before Christmas ...

and the rest of the house (upstairs) was done by Christmas Eve.
With no family here for Christmas, we pared down and just decorated for ourselves and got it done when we got it done. We planned a few fun activities to keep us busy- Ballet West’s Nutcracker, Temple Night with the Ward, brunch with another “empty-nester” couple Christmas morning, and talking to our kids and grandkids on Christmas Day.

It was a joyful Christmas. Our big present this year was getting our living room done and we love it! The last pieces came in time to decorate for Christmas.
Since we haven’t posted pictures for a while, you can see our new room as it is decked out for Christmas.

While Christmas Day has passed, we still have lots to celebrate and we appreciate all those gifts that will last- a wonderful family, good friends, and each other.

Most important of all, we have the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, with all its blessings, and throughout the year, we will remember

Tender Mercies

My life is full of “tender mercies,” but I have been especially blessed this last week. By the miracle of the internet, I was able to hear Brian sing "I'll be home for Christmas" (sigh- we'll miss him!) at his Ward Christmas party (Soirée Serenade) , read that his broken foot has healed and he is walking around, albeit somewhat crazily, on two good feet, and learn that our grandson, Braden, is wishing for his two front teeth this Christmas. By phone, I learned that Julie’s broken leg is healing. And, I had the opportunity, with David, to visit Tom, Amy, Jacob, Allison, and Gideon in California. (David attended a leadership training conference for the National Assessment of Educational Progress, in which we will be involved in January through the first of March. We went down early to spend some time with the Omer Family.)

Here are some highlights of our trip…

Hiking up to Griffith Observatory. These guys are world class hikers. Los Angeles was spectacular in the distance. On the other side of the mountain was Hollywood and its famous sign.

A fun time was had by all! Getting ready for church... Grandpa was in charge of Jacob's close shave...

while Grandma loved getting Allison "all dolled up!"

Visiting Jacob's pre-school...

Postgame Jenga after FHE...

A chance to read together...

And hang out at our hotel... loved the warm hot tub.

Jacob and Allison braved the chilly water and weather to show Grandma their swimming skills.

Ahh... a towel and a snuggle is a good thing.

On our way to Los Angeles, David and I spent a wonderful afternoon at the magnificent Getty Center- awesome gardens...

wonderful art...

and amazing architecture.

Then we headed down to Hollywood, where the last but a significant tender mercy occurred. We were one exit away from our destination, the Pantages Theater, when we hit heavy traffic. We slowed down, but the car in front of us apparently didn’t. He swerved and laid rubber and we put on the brakes. For a calm second or two, we thought we were fine, until the car behind us slammed into us. The best laid plans of walking around Hollywood before heading to the theater evaporated as we waited quite a while for the Highway Patrol to arrive. Once we were safely off the freeway, another officer arrived and the two of them worked quickly to get us on our way to the theater to see... “Wicked.”

We arrived just in time for the bell warning the audience to be seated. We really did enjoy the show, but the experience was dampened by our highway mishap and sore necks, as a result. However, we were so full of gratitude for tender mercies. We could have been going much faster and following much closer, with disastrous effects. The car behind us could have been going faster and following closer, with disastrous effects. Our rental car sustained scrapes and dents

but the other car had some major damage, including a bumper that was about to fall off on the side not seen in the picture.

We could have suffered significant injuries, but we were pretty much ok. We did find out that the insurance company of the people who hit us has agreed to cover everything, including medical care if we need it. Our insurance company will never hear about it.... We are truly blessed and we acknowledge all those tender mercies we experienced during our visit to California.